UPDATE: Mark Sanford (aka “Rabbit”) clogs toilets; but who’s behind GOP train wrecks?

SC Gov. Mark Sanford showed up today at the Atlanta airport, and promptly clogged all the toilets in the vicinity with stories of driving the coastline in Buenos Aires.

As someone who has been to Buenos Aires many times, just returned from BA and is in the process of moving there later this year, I can tell you unequivocally that someone who goes to Buenos Aires to ‘see the coastline’ is akin to someone going to New York City or Boston to see the Atlantic Ocean. As for getting away to clear his head, the greater Buenos Aires area is home to 30% of Argentina’s 40 million people. While Sanford is trying to paint a picture of a peaceful drive along a beautiful coast, in fact he was crammed into a land-locked city* of 15 million people. Worst excuse ever.

Of course, his staff had been doing the same thing for days over in South Carolina. Sanford clearly was not telling anyone what he was up to, including his wife.

Separately, Will Folks, a former spokesman for Sanford who now runs a South Carolina political blog, is reporting that, according to a source, the Sanfords have been having problems in their marriage and have “been in marital counseling for several weeks now.”

We should have some more information on this soon. Sanford’s office has called a 2pm press conference, and Politico’s Mike Allen tweets that according to the South Carolina press, the “woman question will be asked directly and clinically (no parsing).”

At his presser, Sanford confesses to a longrunning affair with an Argentine woman, and that his family has known about it for five months.
“Coincidentally,” Sanford visited Argentina a year ago during an economic development trip to South America.

This has been going on for a long time:

Sanford has been a fan of Argentina for years. While in Congress and since he’s said that nation’s Social Security system has a model the U.S. should follow.

Rumor has it Sanford was carrying two books on his adventure: “The Rush Limbaugh Guide to Child Sex Tourism in Latin America,” and John Updike’s “Rabbit, Run.”

Sanford's Role Model?

Sanford's Role Model?


Wikipedia:

It depicts five months in the life of a 26-year-old former high school basketball player named Harry ‘Rabbit’ Angstrom, and his attempts to escape the constraints of his life. It spawned several sequels, including Rabbit Redux, Rabbit Is Rich and Rabbit At Rest, as well as a related 2001 novella, Rabbit Remembered.

Regardless: Now the real investigation should begin: Why are all the 2012 GOP presidential hopefuls running into the ditch? Who’s behind it all?

conspiracyWho really tipped off Fox News about Ensign’s zipper troubles? Who actually wrote Bobby Jindal’s script? Who’s ready to drop the dime on Lindsay Graham’s orientation? Could these seemingly isolated episodes be somehow connected? who would have the motivation and skill to engineer these fiascos?
Sure, I know, you’re thinking that the common thread here is “this is good news for John McCain.” But that old geezer couldn’t dream up this campaign of sabotage…and he’s not gonna run again.
But think about this: who misled Letterman’s writers about which Palin daughter was at Yankee Stadium? and who views vendettas as a way of life and a perk of public office? Yeah, baby….

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS DUDE?

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS DUDE?


Why do we not know the recent whereabouts of the First Dude? Now there is a real conspiracy candidate…someone who has enough free time to verify that prostitution is legal in Argentina, and check out two books from the Anchorage Public Library and send them to a Southern governor…(is it true that a snowmobile was sighted along the Argentine coast on Father’s Day?)

Who will be next? Is Mitt Romney now using moose repellent? Will he be seduced into some colossal misstep at the No-tell Motel? How will that porn end up on his laptop? Will Mike Huckabee’s gastric stapling surgery soon be mysteriously revealed?

When will the episode of “Elephant Burial Ground:The Survivor” air? Will the list of credits include “Produced and Directed by T. Palin?”

Or… alternatively….perhaps you think that these massive ‘trainwrecks’ have occurred because all the Republican “leaders” are morally, ethically, intellectually and behaviorally flawed, and those characteristics are eventually revealed in the normal course of events.

Fair enough. I hadn’t thought of that.

ok…never mind.

Never mind...

Never mind...

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