Here’s a Chuck Norris fact you may not know. If Chuck Norris endorses you and appears in one of your campaign’s TV ads, you take the lead in an Iowa poll and your Web server crashes. That’s what happened to Mike Huckabee, the shrewder-than-you-realize former Arkansas governor (sound familiar?) who has become a major player in the tight Republican presidential race. The ad opens with Huckabee deadpanning: “My plan to secure the border? Two words: Chuck Norris.” The camera moves back to reveal the Man Himself, who praises Huckabee as a solid, gun-loving, IRS-loathing conservative. Huckabee adds a twist at the end. “I approved this message … So did Chuck.” The ad, which ran in Iowa on cable for a week, has generated an astonishing 1.5 million YouTube views and clogged the campaign’s Web site. Huckabee was rising in Iowa even before the ad, but he took the lead with Chuck as Huckster.
Yes, Chuck Norris, a coveted endorsement for GOP candidates. Perfect. I think that pretty much sums it up. Americans could just choose sides based on whether or not they see Chuck Norris as a guiding light.
Of course, Mike Huckabee doesn’t believe in evolution. Not to say that Chuck Norris hasn’t evolved as much as the rest of us……
This is the kind of shit you get when you cede the country to a bunch of profiteers who are all about trying to sell you fear, cheap TV shows and toxic shit from China while they work on the real business of grabbing your pension.