Texas DNA specialist writes that Sasquatch is a modern human being.

According to a copyright application, rural Texas veterinarian/DNA lab owner, Melba Ketchum, DVM, is coming out with the news that the folklore beast called Sasquatch or Bigfoot is real!! She has DNA from a bunch of ‘em!! Not only that (hold on to your hat) Bigfoot has the DNA of a modern human being, with some minor changes in some genes that explain the characteristics that are popularly ascribed to this never-found “creature.” From the site Cryptomundo, we learn that she claims to have seen one or more Bigfoots. She is applying for a copyright of:

A film and/or documentary, narration or audio book, supporting photos and literary paper/document/book that will follow the The Sasquatch Project, the scientist and the scientific testing and proof for the existence of Sasquatch/ Bigfoot. Information will include discussion of results including A New Tribe of Living Humans, the complete Sasquatch mitochondrial genome sequence and nuclear DNA variations and text will show complete mitochondrial (mt) genome sequences were identified from DNA, analysis of the assembled sequence unequivocally establishes that the Sasquatch mtDNA falls inside the range of modern human mtDNAs and discussions of the origins thereof. The proof that the Sasquatch is not only the closest living human relative but is actually a contemporary living human. Also discussed is nuclear DNA testing performed on the same samples and the variations found in various genes including MC1R gene RUNX2 and FOXP2 as well as other targets genes involved in the perception of sound, transmission of nerve signals, the production of sperm and the lactase gene. Also discussed is how testing has ruled out ape cross and any ancient contributor and that Sasquatch is indeed a modern human with some genetic mutations accounting for their physical appearance. Also included are discussion of the history of samples and circumstances surrounding the acquisition, their testing, the circumstances surrounding the entire Sasquatch DNA Project. Documentary stars Melba Ketchum, et al

Over the Line, Smokey!, a big fan of the cinematic arts, loves that last sentence.

added Jan. 25; more material in the copyright application:

Type of Work: Text. Registration Number / Date: TXu001766114 / 2011-07-19. Application Title: A New Species of Contemporary Feral Homo sapiens. Title: A New Species of Contemporary Feral Homo sapiens. Description: Electronic file (eService). Copyright Claimant: Melba S. Ketchum, 1955- . Date of Creation: 2011. Authorship on Application: Melba S. Ketchum, 1955- ; Domicile: United States; Citizenship: United States. Authorship: text, photograph(s), editing, Data Tables. Rights and Permissions: Maureen A. Doherty, Doherty Legal, 10777 Westheimer, Suite 1100, Houston, TX, 77042-3462, United States, mdoherty@dohertylegal.comNames: Ketchum, Melba S., 1955- ===========================================
=====================================Type of Work: Text. Registration Number / Date: TXu001776703 / 2011-09-12. Application Title: A New Contemporary Feral Species of Hominin. Title: A New Contemporary Feral Species of Hominin. Description: Electronic file (eService). Copyright Claimant: Melba S. Ketchum, 1955-. Date of Creation: 2011. Authorship on Application: Melba S. Ketchum, 1955-; Domicile: United States; Citizenship: United States. Authorship: text, photograph(s), compilation, editing, Data Tables. Rights and Permissions: Maureen A. Doherty, 10777 Westheimer, Suite 1100, Houston, TX, 77042-3462, mdoherty@dohertylegal.com. Copyright Note: C.O. correspondence. Names: Ketchum, Melba S., 1955-

Whew, sorry Melba, but you went and posted your age right there in public. I won’t be so rude as to announce it, other than to take note.
But seriously, folks:
It is not clear how many samples Ketchum tested, or where these samples came from, or how it would be known that the source was bigfoot/sasquatch, and not just some human being who might have left some blood on a barb wire fence or saliva on a discarded apple, or maybe my crazy uncle just spit in a jar and sent it in, with his usual wide eyed declaration of the truth of his latest tall tale. Given that the details are not well described, Over the Line, Smokey!, though not a genetics expert, feels pretty certain, regardless of what Ketchum wrote, that the 10 foot monster with glowing eyes is not of the same species as my mother. Or me. Or my son. And that those minor alterations in a few genes (we’ve all got those odds and ends hanging out) wouldn’t make my daughter’s feet grow to size 23. Besides, sounds like the alterations were all different. C’mon, Ketchum, I WAS born at night, but it wasn’t LAST NIGHT…..

Regular old human DNA means that whatever thing that DNA came from is part of our gene pool, freely interbreeding with the rest of us. I don’t know about you but for me, those “Bigfoot had my baby” or “I had Bigfoot’s baby” stories in the tabloids are strictly printed for The Stupids demographic.

Ketchum is a graduate of Texas A & M veterinary school. Apparently she is a veterinarian and she has been operating a DNA analysis laboratory at Timpson, Texas, for animal owners, breeders, and other clients, including forensic work and court testimony. According to Cryptomundo, she has a rating of F from the Better Business Bureau, based on a dozen or so complaints, documented at the BBB site.

Over the Line, Smokey! is gonna go out on a limb here, and suggest that Dr. Ketchum has gone off the rails here. Take that however you want. I see from one source who shall remain unnamed, that she has run over 200 samples, and not for free either; at $200 a pop, we’re talking lengthy European vacations for two. So maybe she isn’t off the rails (/winks). What I can say (besides “a fool and his money are soon parted”) is that a scientist copyrighting scientific articles before they are published is pretty much like farting in the general direction of the scientific process, not to mention the scientific community.

UPDATE: Dr. Ketchum now has an open Facebook page on which she is claiming multiple encounters with multiple bigfoot creatures. So I think my term “gone off the rails” would be an accurate assessment.