Sanford: God can take my son, I’m stayin…

Speaking to his cabinet today, Part-time Gov. Mark Sanford of SC said that

King David “fell mightily, fell in very, very significant ways, but then picked up the pieces and built from there.”

link
Yes, that King David, as in the Bible, and as in Jesus, the Son of David.
My God! the man is an idiot narcissist of the highest order. He should heed his own advice:

“When one is in a hole, the first order of business is to stop digging.”

—Mark Sanford, March 10, 2009

The Biblical figure King David boinked Bathsheba, the wife of one of his soldiers, then arranged the soldier’s death so he could marry the woman.

you crazy baby bathsheba, i wancha
you’re suffocating you need a good shed
i’m tired of living, shebe, so gimme
dead

we’re apin’ rapin’ tapin’ catharsis
you get torn down and get erected
my blood is working but my, my heart is
dead

hey
whaddyah know?
you’re lovely
tan belly
is starting to grow

uriah hit the crapper, the crapper
uriah hit the crapper, the crapper
uriah hit the crapper, the crapper
dead >-Black Francis and the Pixies

Of course, David did marry Bathsheba, and their baby died, courtesy of God the Father Almighty’s curse. Later of course, there was a lot of begatting, about a 1000 years worth, and then along comes Jesus.

This is so wrong on so many levels, it's hard to know where to start. Besides the obvious narcissism, Sanford seems to be excusing his adultery because it is in the Bible. I would call sacrilege, if I was a Christian. And is Sanford saying he's trading the life of his son for his own political interests?
More obviously, Sanford is an elected official of the state of South Carolina in the USA in 2009, subject to law and the will of the people, and not a hereditary monarch of a small kingdom in 1000 BC.

I think this will get him bounced. The Bible thumpers won't be diggin this.

Nestle to package products in Charmin?

New packaging for cookie dough?

Nestle seems to have gotten caught with its poop in the cookie jar:

Nestle USA Friday recalled its refrigerated cookies, one kind of Nestle’s famous Toll House products, after federal health officials linked the dough to infections from the bacteria in 66 people in 29 states, including five in Washington. The recall does not affect other Toll House products, including ice cream that contains raw Toll House dough.

Consumers were asked to throw away the dough or, to get a refund, return it to the store where it was purchased. The FDA advised against baking the dough because bacteria could be transferred to hands and preparation surfaces.

Gee, can’t “teh markets” take care of these poopy food issues? Oh, I guess that was something Bush thought up. I’m surprised the FDA still exists. Nestle seems to have brushed off the inspectors:

A WSJ report today says inspection reports covering the past five years show that officials at the company’s Danville, Va. plant, which made the suspect dough, “refused to allow a Food and Drug Administration inspector to review consumer complaints or inspect its program designed to prevent food contamination.”

Of course, no one wants someone watching while they “go number 2″…

Did Mark Sanford go to Argentina because he was rejected by eHarmony.com?

In another stunning development in the ongoing Mark Sanford fiasco, Over the Line, Smokey! has learned that Sanford may have been trying to “dig some potatoes” a little closer to home than Argentina, but was rejected by eHarmony.com, because of a statement he made in his application:

Over the Line, Smokey! cannot vouch for the authenticity of this document, although it was obtained from a reliable source.*

*the internet, I think it’s called.