Sen. Larry Craig claims missing pilot Steve Fossett could verify his version of events in airport bathroom.

“If only we could find him,” the Republican senator from Idaho said, as he opened a new Fossett search venue on suburban Boise golf courses. “I had forgotten, until Steve was missing for over two weeks, that he could prove my innocence.”

OJ Simpson’s legal defense: OJ is not a member of the executive branch

Hey, it worked for Dick Cheney…

Steve Fossett search slowed by nerds staring at aerial photos of sunbathers

Amazon.com, sponsors of the Mechanical Turk website and the search for missing pilot Steve Fossett, says that a virtual “denial of service” has been created by home computerists staring at certain aerial images of the Nevada landscape. According to data released this morning, over 2,000 of the 12,000 “basement boys” in the effort have been looking at certain images for hours at a time. Amazon has determined that these images are closeup views of Las Vegas swimming pools. In an effort to speed the Fossett search, Amazon has determined the addresses of the offending geeks, and is contacting local police forces, who will visit the homes of these perverts, and tell their parents to “get your kids to go outside and play.”

Move-on.org: “Did Hayden Panettiere’s designer betray us?”

Actress Hayden Panettiere appeared at the Emmy Awards in a dress more suited to a character in The Nutcracker than an actress appearing at the second biggest red carpet event of the year. Some may question whether Move-on was too shrill in their criticism, but I think the dress was un-American, and Move-on had the stones to say so.

Garrison Keillor chosen for Steinbeck Award

Garrison Keillor, a great Democrat, a great writer, a great American and a great entertainer, has been chosen to receive the Steinbeck Award. I cannot think of a better recipient. Any of you who have not listened to Keillor read his book “Homegrown Democrat” are deprived.

Link

In 1996, with the backing of Elaine Steinbeck, the writer’s third wife, the Center created the annual “Steinbeck Award: ‘in the souls of the people.’” That phrase from Chapter 25 of The Grapes of Wrath captures the writer’s enduring legacy as an engaged artist. From the 1930s on he wrote about “the people,” his heart open to the longing, loneliness, despair and triumph of those on the edges. Americans were his people, and his last book, America and Americans (1966) expresses his enduring love for a democratic nation:

“From our beginning, in hindsight at least, our social direction is clear. We have moved to become one people out of many. At intervals, men or groups, through fear of people or the desire to use them, have tried to change our direction, to arrest our growth, or to stampede the Americans. This will happen again and again. The impulses which for a time enforced the Alien and Sedition Laws, which have used fear and illicit emotion to interfere with and put a stop to our continuing revolution, will rise again, and they will serve us in the future as they have in the past to clarify and to strengthen our process. We have failed sometimes, taken wrong paths, paused for renewal, filled our bellies and licked our wounds; but we have never slipped back-never.”

This award is given to writers and artists whose work captures the spirit of Steinbeck’s empathy, commitment to democratic values, and belief in the dignity of the “common man.” Recipients include Bruce Springsteen, John Sayles, Arthur Miller, Jackson Browne, Studs Terkel, Joan Baez, and Sean Penn.

Congratulations to Garrison Keillor !

Cheney says Iran responsible for Steve Fossett disappearance and Britney Spears’ poor performance

blames Quds Force, suggests attack on Iran may be only way to find Fossett and revive Britney’s career.

OJ Simpson makes comeback; more successful than Britney Spears UPDATE

Many said OJ was too old to make it in a life of crime; at age 60, he had been retired from that game for many years, his last caper being the double “if I did it” in Brentwood, of which he was acquitted, but later held responsible.

Britney, au contraire, is still a young woman at what, 27? sure, she had a couple kids, an ex husband or two, but was definitely in pretty good shape just a couple of years ago.

But you guessed it. Britney gave it a good try, but bombed; she looked lost, confused, chubby, and unrehearsed. OJ, on the other hand, made good on a break-in/room invasion/armed robbery. I mean, he didn’t kill anybody, but that’s probably because the victims didn’t include any women.

A conviction on the most serious charge, robbery with use of a deadly weapon, could bring a sentence of three to 35 years for each count, he said.
“He is facing a lot of time,” Roger said.

So congrats to OJ; we hope to see him running through airports in the near future. Of course, you can get shot for that nowadays.

UPDATE: OJ has submitted a plea bargain proposal which would include him looking for Steve Fossett on Florida golf courses.