Riverbend sums up the state of Iraq

link
This blogger in Iraq tells the facts from the Iraqi POV. A few samples:

1. The UN has to open a special branch just to keep track of the chaos and bloodshed, UNAMI.
2. Abovementioned branch cannot be run from your country.
3. The politicians who worked to put your country in this sorry state can no longer be found inside of, or anywhere near, its borders.
4.The only thing the US and Iran can agree about is the deteriorating state of your nation.
5. An 8-year war and 13-year blockade are looking like the country’s ‘Golden Years’.
6. Your country is purportedly ‘selling’ 2 million barrels of oil a day, but you are standing in line for 4 hours for black market gasoline for the generator.
7. For every 5 hours of no electricity, you get one hour of public electricity and then the government announces it’s going to cut back on providing that hour.
8. Politicians who supported the war spend tv time debating whether it is ‘sectarian bloodshed’ or ‘civil war’.
9. People consider themselves lucky if they can actually identify the corpse of the relative that’s been missing for two weeks.

Go read it.

How old is the Grand Canyon? Park Rangers: “no comment.” UPDATE: not so much

Yes, international tourists visiting the United States, we ARE idiots here. Not just over the line, but actual imbeciles. Don’t think you have anything to fear from THIS country, led by the geniuses who came up with this nonsense:

Washington, DC — Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geologic age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees. Despite promising a prompt review of its approval for a book claiming the Grand Canyon was created by Noah’s flood rather than by geologic forces, more than three years later no review has ever been done and the book remains on sale at the park, according to documents released today by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER).

(link)

are they at least able to say, “it was here when I was hired….” ?

[UPDATE: DarkSyde at dkos fires a sarcastic scientific shotgun blast in the face of the creationists who demanded this of the deeply corrupt and stupid Republican administration.]

UPDATE: according to this post, the “no comment” may not be based in fact.

Ford’s Heaven-dential campaign asks Bush not to stump [UPDATED]

Pearly Gates HVN (HP)– The Heaven-dential campaign staff of former US president Gerald R. Ford has requested that current president George W. Bush not appear on behalf of Ford’s campaign to enter The Pearly Gates. Citing Bush’s low popularity in the Heaventh Congressional district, Ford’s choir of angels announced that Bush will not be invited to appear at the next and most important campaign stop, Ford’s funeral in Arlington next week.

Ford’s heavenly people have been trying to distance the affable dead Michigan Republican from Bush, as polls have shown that most angels in heaven would not vote for Bush, if the election were held today. In Ford’s latest posthumous speech, delivered by fallen angel Bob “Thou Art the Glory Forever” Woodward, Ford distanced himself significantly from Bush’s most sinful act, the US invasion of Iraq in 2003, and all the “over the sin-line” behavior that followed therefrom: lying, killing, rape, torture, greed, probably some lust, a whole lot of coveting thy neighbor’s petroleum deposits, and boocoo taking the name of the Lord thy God in vain. Bush’s standing in heaven has been further compromised by recent photographs suggesting, shall we say, at least an aura of evil:

The Pew poll this week indicates the iffy nature of Ford’s chances at this point: of angels who are likely to vote, Ford holds a slight plurality 45% voting for heaven, 43% for hell, and 12% undecided, with a margin of error of 3%. Ford’s other big liability besides Bush, the pardon of Richard Nixon, has lost him considerable votes among the “judge the quick and the dead” wing of the angels.

Word from the Bush camp in Texas is that Bush will allow Ford to Run in Peace (RIP), and comply with the request from “on high,” to remain out of public view during the Ford funeral, perhaps the most important Ford Heaven-dential campaign stop [UPDATE: Bush will participate in the viewing, on Jan. 1, in the Capitol Rotunda; there are rumors that he will be required to wear a hood to prevent him from spitting on the remains.]. [UPDATE II: Bush risked a lightning strike by actually speaking at the funeral. I can only guess at what this might mean for Ford's chances for eternal salvation/damnation.] During the funeral, many godly and truthful persons will testify to the goodness of President Ford, citing his involvement with football, Grand Rapids, and an occasional person of color, during his long and faithful stint in the Republican Party. It is hoped that these final testimonials will pursuade the undecideds among the heavenly host to vote in favor of opening the pearly gates to Ford, whose campaign slogan
“ETERNAL MORE YEARS”

has proven to be a non-starter.

Bush’s prepared funeral speech, (a draft of which circulated through the Ford camp) reportedly included a number of references to Republicans who are not (and apparently never will be) residents of the Heaventh Congressional District, such as Donald Segretti, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Richard Nixon, Abu Gonzales, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, John Bolton, Bill Kristol, Jack Abramoff, and Henry Kissinger.

Other personal and political issues are also a concern for the angels: first, of course, there’s the farting. And even more importantly, Ford’s people have been informed that Bush’s failure to address “climate change” has made the Texan very unpopular in Heaven, where rising temperatures prompted one resident to comment, “Jesus H. Christ on a biscuit, it’s hotter than Hell here today!”