The 2006 Smokey Awards

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A Smokey (actual trophies may vary; check your local channel listings)

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The Mrs. Jamtoss 5th Period** Circled Big Red D Award

——————————————————————-

The criterion: farthest OVER THE LINE: the most outrageous, excessive, or over the top performances of the year.

The Winners:
The Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever “Smokey”, to: Keith Olbermann, for his yeoman and courageous efforts to show America that the Emperor has no clothes; and for picking up the “Laura Bush sinks her claws in Condi” story from Over the Line, Smokey, and broadcasting it on Countdown (next time give us credit, KO).

Variety Clubs International Achiever of the Year “Smokey”, to George W. Bush, holder of public office in the USA, for his statement “…we’ve never been ‘stay the course…,’ ” after both he and others in the White House had used the expression so frequently that “stay the course” was named “‘Catchphrase of the Year” by The Global Language Monitor.

The Arthur Digby Sellers* lifetime achievement “Smokey”: To Donald Rumsfeld, gasbag, aider and abettor to both George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein, and former Secretary of Defense, for a lifetime of dodging questions, participating in mayhem, using weird gestures, and verbalizing every single vapid exclamation in style among old women before 1940.

The Little Lebowski Urban Achiever “Smokey” for blogging: To Dood Abides, for his efforts to rip even the barest threads of human dignity from Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleezza Rice, Dick Cheney and George W. Bush.

The Mrs. Jamtoss 5th Period** “Big Red Circled D“: to George W. Bush, president of the United States and Leader of the Free World, for not having the sense God gave a chicken about world or American history or languagizing.

Congratulations to these great Over-the-liners; they have set the bar at a very high/low level. Next year’s winners are gonna be hard pressed to surpass these accomplishments.

The Smokey statuettes will be presented at YearlyKos, the yearly convention for members (and sympathizers) of the dailyKos blogging community. The Mrs. Jamtoss 5th Period “circled big red D” award will be placed in a ziploc bag, then locked in a briefcase, until the opening ceremonies of the George W. Bush Presidential Libeary Liebury, Lyebary place, when it will be presented to Mr. Bush, with the query, “Is this your homework?”

————-
*

DUDE
who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?WALTER
Who the f–have you ever heard of a
little show called Branded, Dude?

DUDE
Yeah.

WALTER
All but one man died? There at Bitter
Creek?

DUDE
Yeah yeah, I know the fucking show
Walter, so what?

WALTER
Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers wrote
156 episodes, Dude.

DUDE
Uh-huh.

WALTER
The bulk of the series.

DUDE
Uh-huh.

WALTER
Not exactly a lightweight.

DUDE
No.

——
**

there is a piece of paper sticking out from between the cushions.The Dude pulls it out.It is lined spiral notebook paper, slightly singed and dripping beer, covered with handwriting. In the upper right-hand corner is the name

Lawrence Sellers

and under that,

Mrs. Jamtoss 5th Period.

The theme is titled

“The Louisiana Purchase.”

In red ink is a large circled D and some handwritten marginal comments; misspelled words are circled in red throughout.

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8 Comments

Filed under Condoleezza Rice: tell me again, what is her job?, George W. Bush: is he really THAT bad?, Humor, Iraq, media, Middle East, Politics, The Big Lebowski

8 responses to “The 2006 Smokey Awards

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